


winter

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Apathy, Blood, M/M, Sadness, Winter, alex cheated, im sad, is this my depression's way of telling me it's relapsing??, probably lmao, very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 14:39:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11315508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He gave and gave and gave, but it was never enough. His heart was bottomless and insatiable.





	winter

“Are you mad?” Aaron didn’t even look up. He continued to trace over the tiny crack in his ceramic bowl, nicking himself and drawing a bit of blood. The cereal was cold and soggy, not ideal. Aaron hated soggy cereal.

“No, Alex. I’m not mad at you.”

“At me?” Aaron stood up and placed his bowl in the sink, blood dripping down his hand slowly. It left a red trail down his hand and into his forearm. He quite liked the color red, Aaron decided. He didn’t bother to get a bandage or wipe it away, though. The dripping was sort of calming. Alex watched as Aaron washed his plate and sat down opposite from him, eyes focused on the ground. After a short silence, Aaron spoke up.

“I’m mad at myself.”

“Why?” Aaron sighed lowly, shuddering through each breath of it. He had always hated confrontation, hated hardship. Looking back, Aaron still wondered how the two of them had gotten here. 

“I knew you. I knew that you couldn’t be happy with the love that I could give. I’m sorry for that, Alexander.” Alex’s stomach ached with the pain of guilt and sorrow. Aaron hadn’t called him by his full name in so long.

“Aaron, no. I was the one who cheated-” He held up a hand to silence him. Alex bit his lip and turned away to hold back his tears. He didn’t want to seem weaker than he already was. Aaron couldn’t cry if he wanted to. He had lost that privilege a long time ago.

“You wanted so much, and I couldn’t give that to you. This is for the best.” Alex shook his head ferociously the tears he had tried so hard to hold back were now flowing freely, fueled by Aaron’s strange apathy.

“What does that mean.” It wasn’t a question. Aaron stood up once again, the blood from his finger finally staunched. He had already packed all of his things last night thankfully. He didn’t want to stay in that apartment for a second longer than he needed to. Alex followed after him at a quick pace, grabbing his elbow before Aaron could walk out the door. The biting cold of the winter wind chilled Alex to the bone. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to generate some heat.

“I can’t lose you. I won’t be able to go on. Aaron, if you care even a little bit, you won’t go.” Aaron gave him one last, nostalgic look before disappearing into the blizzardy night, leaving Alex alone to shiver. He continued to shiver long after the door had been closed. 


End file.
